insomniac

what do you do when sleep won't come? i'm out of ideas. i've already done some laundry, picked up around my kitchen, watched fresh prince of bel air reruns, and played fetch with my dog. as i sit here contemplating all that has been and all that could be, i have to wonder...at what point does someone become an adult? i feel like adolescence is extending on and on and on these days. is it a particular age? is it a certain stage in life that make someone adult? graduating from college? marriage? parenthood? i don't know. at some points, i feel very adult. paying bills, paying taxes, going to work every day...those things all make me feel my age. at other times, i feel very very young. many people tell me that i look younger than i am. the truth of the matter, though, is that i feel much younger than i am. i graduated from college years ago, and that hasn't made me feel like an adult. since i'm not married, and i don't have children, i can't really say whether those things will make me feel adult or not. i guess time will tell...

confidant

i think that because of my position, people feel that they can tell me things, things that they wouldn't normally tell other people. don't get me wrong...i'm not complaining. i actually feel quite honored when people bestow information on me and trust me with their secrets. it's just that i'm not always sure what to say...
for example, i had no idea what to say to a friend who told me that she was recently taken advantage of sexually by a friend. of course, the normal responses came out: it's not your fault, God is not mad at you, are you going to press charges, have you been to the doctor yet, are you going to see a therapist? but, i couldn't really come up with anything that would really address her deep fears and hurts. what could i really say? i had nothing.
so, i just listened and empathized, cried with her and prayed for her. and, i realized afterward that maybe, just maybe, that's all she really needed and that my presence and silence meant much more than anything i could have said.